//..Puccachu..Lotsa Crap\\

Friday, December 29, 2006

Persona

Freud: Hahaha!!

Norm: Are you crazy? Why are you laughing?!!

Daniel: You're crazy Freud...

Freud: hahaha!! I was just reminiscing Daniel's first step in UP. hahaha!!

Norm: What about it?...

Freud: I just remember when he first enter his lecture in BIO 1!!! HAHAHA!!!

Daniel: Will you just shut up Freud!! You are only my subconcious yet it seems that you are overpowering me..

Norm: Shit!! I was sleeping Back then.. Hmmm.. (giggle) What happened there Freud?

Daniel: Shut the hell up Freud!!! I dont want to remember that incident!!!

Freud: Hahaha!! here's what happened Norm..

Daniel: No!!!

Norm: Where are you going Daniel.

Daniel: I'm gonna sleep.

Freud: Ok, now he's gone.. Hehehe.. Daniel thought he was late in his class in Bio1 Lect..
He was running like there was no tomorrow.

PAST..

Freud: Why are you in a hurry?!!

Daniel: I'm going to be late!!!

Norm: ZZzzz...

Freud: hahaha!! You better hurry..

Norm: ZZzzz...

Daniel: There. I'm almost there...

Freud: I think they are already inside the hall...

Daniel: (Panting) Yes I know that. Thank You...

PRESENT

Freud: So he entered the lecture hall without hesitation...

Norm: Then?...

Freud: He immediately grabbed his pen and notebuk to take down some notes. Hahahaha!!
All the students were looking at us.. Hahaha..

PAST

Freud: Why are they looking at us?..

Daniel: I dont know and I dont care Freud. I have one request though. You're only a subconcious right? Could act like one and shut up?

Freud: They are still looking at us...

PRESENT

Norm: Then?..

Freud: The Professor said that there will be a quiz next meeting. We were both shocked.

PAST

Freud/Daniel: What the fuck?..

Daniel: This is only the first meeting yet we have a quiz next meeting?!

Prof: OK Class Dismiss...

Daniel: What the fu..?..

Freud: What the hell happened?...

PRESENT

Norm: Hahaha!!!

Freud: Daniel checked his watch and guess what?... Hahaha!!!

Norm: Hmmm.. Hahaha!!! Let me guess... That was not our class?!! Hahaha!!!

Daniel: Are the both of you done talking?... Grr... Just shut the hell up both of you..

Norm/Freud: Yes Sir

puccachu believed today at 13:13

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

LOL

Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala niya ang limang anak namin."
Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"
Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa iyo diyan!"

Sa Prusisyon:

Pari: Ang mga girls
sunod sa karo ni mama mary
ang mga boys sa karo ni san pedro

Bakla:
Eh Father san kami?????

Pari:
MGA BRUHA!!!!,,, FOLLOW ME!!!!!!!

Nakasakay ka sa FX, ng ikaw ay mautot. Buti na lang malakas ang tugtog. Bawat pag-utot, sabay sa tugtog. Nang ikaw ay bumaba, ang sasama ng tingin nila sa iyo, bigla mong naalala...naka Walkman ka pala!

Lasing (takot): may multo sa banyo natin!
Wife: ha? Bakit?
Lasing: kasi bumubukas yung ilaw pag papasok ako ng ! banyo eh.
Wife: punyeta ka! ikaw pala umiihi sa ref!

1st night lola wore see thru dress, lolo didn't react...
2nd night lo la wore t-back, lolo still deadma...
3rd night lola all naked, lolo said "anu yan suot mo, gusot-gusot!!"

AMO: sagutin mo ang telepon inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak) hilo? hilo ?
AMO: baligtarin mo!
INDAY: lohi? lohi?
AMO: telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili, puntili

Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili na ko ng hearing aid. Grabe! ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang

may isang barko na lumubog sa gitna ng dagat.....
lahat ng tao patay sa sakunang un maliban sa isa....si Kuba.........

Kuba:talagang ito na ang katapusan ko.......

biglang may dumating na Pating.......

Kuba:aun may Pating.....Halika ka dto pating kainin mo na ako tutal ala na silbe buhay ko....
Pating:ayoko
Kuba:bakit naman???.... cge na kainin mo na ako...
Pating:wag mo ko linlangin.....turtle ka....

puccachu believed today at 09:04

Hmmm...

I do not know if this is true. My mother just forwarded this message to me and I would just like to share this message to all of you guyz there. Here is the message,

''A FAN OF KRIS

I never liked Kris Aquino. But I never disliked her either. I feel indifferent where she's concerned? until recently.

You see, I have this 14-year-old niece who, only God knows why, is a die-hard Kris Aquino fan. Case in point, her name starts with a "G", but she wears a necklace with a "K" pendant. Also, she tells her friends that she's really an adopted child and that her real Mother is former president Cory Aquino. Crazy kid.

And of course, like any other fan, she buys stuff Kris endorses?bags, fragrances, jewelry? everything! So, when the family (meaning my brothers, my sisters ? the whole immediate clan) learned of this "cute" idiosyncrasy, we were supportive. Kunsintidor, even.

My sister-in-law, who used to play bit parts in movies, (she's really pretty, by the way), arranged for us to get seats at the taping of Kris' show, Game Ka Na Ba? Needless to say, my niece was thrilled.

So, yesterday, a Wednesday, taping for the Game Ka Na Ba? Celebrity edition episode, my niece and I, together with her sister and some of my friends, went to ABS CBN to watch the absurdly (in)famous Kris Aquino.

Anyhow, I was happy to see my nieces really excited; especially since the younger one just got out of the hospital because of Dengue, plus the fact that I rarely see them since they stay in the province. They were chatting away endlessly in the cab on way to the studio about how they would embrace Kris when they see her; that they're sure she smells nice; that their friends back in Nueva Ecija would just die with envy when they see the pictures; that James Yap is the luckiest guy ever; that Josh must be spoiled with Kris' love; that she's just perfect; and so on.

They both looked really pretty, too ? new clothes, neat hair, clean nails, and with "just the right jewelry". They said they didn't want Kris to think they're from a "bad family." They wanted to impress her.

We were at the audience entrance by 4pm, and were fetched right away by one of the ABS CBN people (VIP, diba?). Unfortunately, kids weren't allowed to sit with the audience so my nieces were given "special" seats near Kris' dressing room, where they got a better view of the show that was taking place.

Me? I was clapping with the audience in step with the Game Ka Na Ba? theme. Itchyworms was guest band so it wasn't that bad.

And so after being subjected to clapping till my hands hurt, I was advised that I could then take a picture of my nieces with Kris. It was 7.30pm. Despite the long wait, my nieces were really excited and they were smiling from ear to ear.

I could see that Kris, for some reason, was not thrilled at all with the picture-taking thing. I was hoping though that she would pretend delight for my nieces' sake?after all they're kids who adore her!

But as I was about to take the picture, she said: "That's not a nice angle, pa-vertical mas maganda." I adjusted my camera, but realized they were standing against the light. So I shifted to the original horizontal angle.

"Vertical sabi, eh!" She said, in her shrilly, irritating voice. I bit my lip and shut my mouth because I wanted to the take the picture for my niece. So I angled the camera vertically as she said, but placed the camera lower, angling it in a way that the light behind her head won't be captured.

"Not like that," she shouted. "Up. Move it up! UP!!!" Motioning for me to move the camera up, so the picture would be taken top-view. Then she actually grabbed my arm and pushed upward!

The nerve of that woman to treat me like that!!! I wanted to slap her and say: "What the fuck for? You look like the same slut whatever angle it may be!"

Instead I said, levelly, "You're against the light, Kris, I can't take the shot that way."

"Eh, may flash naman yan diba?" she retorted in her shrilly, nasal, voice.

I wanted to spit on her overly made-up face right there and then! For someone who pretends she's smart, that was a really stupid remark! With dripping sarcasm, I said. "Exactly, over-exposed yan. Move a little please."

She did so but impatiently and crossly, almost knocking my niece over. I took the picture and she smiled right on cue, then she fled. My younger niece, who I thought was oblivious to the tension, didn't pose with her sister and shouted, almost tearfully, "ANG SUNGIT MO NAMAN, KRIS!"

My heart almost broke. I wanted to kill Kris.

Then I looked at my other niece, the one who swore would change her family name to Aquino one day, and saw that her eyes were downcast. She looked like she was trying really hard not to cry. Then she said quietly, "Ang pangit pala ng ugali nun."

I checked the digital picture that I took?Kris' smile was flawless, without a trace of the monstrosity she just displayed. And kid beside her, my niece, looked like she just realized that she was having her picture taken with a two-faced monster.

"Baka she's tired lang, Gelline," I told my niece. "Kahit na! Kame nga galing pa ng Nueva Ecija tapos di pa kame dinner, naghintay kame para lang sa picture, tapos binastos ka pa niya! SALBAHE SIYA!" she replied, clearly bitter and sulking.

You know what's the worst thing about this whole scene? It's the fact that I'm sure Kris doesn't know and couldn't care any less that she just hurt two loving kids who did nothing wrong except chose her as their "idol".

And it's inexplicable how Kris can get away with her unacceptable manner: she's tactless, she's an advocate of gossip and scandal, and she's an epitome of a woman with loose morals.

Kris makes me sick.

Clearly, this proves the legends wrong, monsters don't lurk inside the closet? they're on TV.

Do me a favor...please forward these letter to all your mailing list.

will be greatly appreciated if you pass it

ASAP!!!''

Now probably some of you guyz are already having their eyebrows raised... I am nit asking you to believe me, in the first place, it was only forwarded to me...

puccachu believed today at 08:45

Saturday, December 23, 2006

?gaB ecI

Di ko alam kung nasabi ko na na langing may mga play sa UP Los Banos. noong first sem, nandoon ung Romeo Rocks Juliet, Isko't Iska, Icebag 6 at marami pang iba. Isa na raw (di ko po kasi alam freshman lang naman po ako..) sa history ang icebag kasi nga mula sa title na Icebag 6, malamang pang anim na nila un. Nakuha ang title na Icebag dahil may mga nag away atang staff, I dont know in particular kung sino ung mga un. Tapos nag sapakan daw ung dalawang nag away. Binigyan ng Icebag ung isa at since wala pang title ung play, they named it icebag in just a snap. And then poof! it became Icebag (Familiar?). Shit! but why tell you this e di ko naman napanood? Kasi ngayong sem, napanood ko ang Icebag7. Hahaha LOL! ganun pala ung Icebag. Masaya sya. All about love kasi yun. Isa na dun ung janitor na mahal yung spanish teacher and it ended up na namatay ung janitor protecting the teacher. Meron ding pulubi na mahal yung isang (babae?) babae kasi ung character nya but she is a he sa totoong buhay. Prof po sya sa speech communication. Yup! OO! Prof sya. nkalimutan kong sabihin na sa mga plays po d2 sa UP sumasali rin ung mga profs. Meron ding gay relationship na pinakita.. Kasi nga unconditional love so kahit parehas kayo ng kasarian eh ayos lang. Naghalikan pa nga sila Choc at Kiko (parehas pong lalaki). Pasensya na kung mali yung spelling nung name. Nakakatawa sya(ung play. mzta naman, ginawang tao ung play) talaga as in. Sumisingit singit pa si (rainier?) pardon po sa spelling baka mali. Sikat din si Rainier sa UP kasi kaya nyang gayahin ung boses ng mga kilalang singers. Si britney, janno, nina at marami pa ata... bakit sya magaling? kasi po lalaki po sya. pero kaya nya ung boses ng mga babae. Parang si Anton Diva. Hahaha!! anu ba yan kung san san na ako napunta ng kinukwento. I was surfing sa net tapos syempre Youtube tapos naruto. Bago ko itype yung ''Naruto episode 201'', may nakita akong clip na may caption ''Anton Diva sings Shine'' yun muna yung tinignan ko. Shit ang galing nya.. Kala ko si Regine. Un lang. Balik sa kwento. May happy ending at may sad. Sad? kala ko ba nakakatawa? may part lang po kasi na nakakatawa. At dahil dyan, Nakabuo ako ng tula. Akalain mo!! Tula nanaman.

Ikaw ang lahat para sa akin,
ang mawala ka, di ko kayang maatim.
Kapag nandyan ka, buhay ko'y kay sigla,
punung-puno ako ng saya't ligaya.

Minahal kita ng todo todo,
puso ko'y sa simula palang ay sayo.
Hindi maisip ang gagawin,
sakaling ika'y lilisan saking piling.

Minsan mong sinabing, ''pwede bang magpatulong?''
oo agad ang naging sagot ko sa iyong tanong.
''Sa kaibigan mo pwede bang magpalakad?''
puso ko'y nadurog, nalaglag sa aking palad.

Tinulungan kita sa abot ng aking makakaya,
makita lamang ang mga ngiti sa iyong mukha.
Oo mahal kita, sa iba'y di na liligaya,
masaya ka sa piling nya, ayos na ang magparaya.

Hindi nagtagal ika'y kanyang sinagot,
sinabi mo sa akin, puso ko'y kumislot.
Mukha mo'y di maipinta sa sobrang tuwa,
Ako'y tumalikod, pinatulo ang luha.

Isang gabi'y umuwi kang malungkot, umiiyak;
umupo sa tabi kong luha'y pumapatak.
Tinanong kita ''Bakit? anong nangyari?''
sinabi mo sya'y may ibang lalaki.

Ako'y nanahimik, walang maiimik,
puso ko'y nagalit; sumigaw; nanikip.
Wala akong masabi,
bibig walang maimutawi.

Tinanong mo ako ''saan ako nagkulang?
minahal ko sya, oras ko's kanya lamang.''
Hindi ko napansin, luha ko'y pumatak,
hindi ko matiis yaong pag iyak.

Hinimas kita sa likod, binigyan ng payo,
''baka meron dyang mas nagmamahal sayo.''
Tumahan ka at ako'y iyong niyakap,
''salamat nandyan ka sa ginhawa't hirap.''

Hindi mo pa rin ba pansin aking nararamdaman?
na minamahal kita, oo magpakailan pa man?
Mahal kita, ako'y sa iyo lamang,
maghihintay ako kahit sa dulo nga walang hanggan.

Desisyon mo'y umuwi, pumunta muna ng probinsya,
doon muna titira at ika'y magpapahinga.
Isang buwan ding komunikasyon ay naputol,
ako'y di mapakali wari'y asong ulol.

Tinawagan, tinext at sinulatan kita,
ngunit kasagutan mula sayo wala ni isa.
Ako'y naghintay, araw gabi, nag aalala;
kumusta na kaya aking mahal, sinisinta?

Isang liham ang dumating, sa inyo nagmula,
agad binuksan; nagmamadali; nadapa.
Binasa ang liham, pisngi pinisil,
sa nilalaman ng liham; mundo ko'y tumigil.

Ika'y patay na, nagpatiwakal basta basta;
hindi mo raw kaya nang iniwan ka nya.
Nasadlak sa sahig, tuhod ko'y nanlambot,
katahimikan ang liham tanging naidulot.

Ang mundo ko, kaluluwa, wala na;
kailanma'y di ko na madarama.
Inumpog ang ulo, ako ay isang tanga,
Kung sa una pa lang sinabi ko na.

Nagparaya ka pa kasi!
sinisi ang sarili.
Natakot ka sa reaksyon nya,
natakot sa sagot na maaaring di kaya.

Ngayo'y huli na ang lahat, ika'y wala na;
malamig na bangkay na lamang ang aking makikita.
Irog ko, ako'y patawarin mo,
paki hintay ako dyan sa kabilang mundo.

Akalain mo!! pati sya mag papakamatay din!!? haay. BB

puccachu believed today at 08:20

SAGOT

Eto na poh ung mga sagot dun sa mga cases ekek..
paki analyze na lang po kung bakit. Pero dun sa iba, don't worry. Ibibigay ko po ung mga explanations.

1.) Mother po nya

2.) Anak po nya

3.) Yung maid po. Kasi, sarado po ang post office pag Sunday.

4.) malamang nalaman na sila Palumbo ek ek na ung asawa ung killer. Ang tanong is paano nalaman. Kasi, when a person sees a gun, he would normally think that the cause of death would be that the gun was shot. But the husband said na arestuhin ung killer who CLUBBED -pinukpok his wife to death. Musta naman un?..

5.) dito, ang story kasi, nagsinungaling lang ung lalaki sa istoryang binigay nya. Inalter(tama ba ung spelling?) nya ung storya. Ang sabi nya, naubusan na sila ng fresh water supply. During that time, dapat dehydrated na sya but then, nakuha pa nyang magpunas ng pawis. Un lang naman un.

6.) Lastly, ung regarding sa convicted murderer, ang sagot, "Would the other guard tell me that this door leads to freedom?" bakit? paano? pucha un na un?.. paki analyze na lang po kung bakit?.. Woo!! Brainstorming nanaman toh...

puccachu believed today at 07:23

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Wa!!! Asar!!! Ngaun ko lang nalaman!!! Bakit ganun?!!!

Pumunta ako sa isang internet shop d2 sa UP Los Banos... Eto na ako, pumasok and was ready for a long bout of typing. Then I remembered you people who were waiting for all those freaking answers I incidentally forgot. I tried to visit my site first to see if people were still visiting me. I was shocked! Ang pangit!! basta mali ata nung format. Tinignan ko ung ginagamit kong internet. It was Internet Explorer. Eh naalala ko na Mozilla Firefox kasi ung ginagamit ko sa bahay. Kaya cguro iba ung naging format. Malay ko... Kaya dun pala sa mga nagbabasa na ang gamit ay Internet Explorer, baka po iba ang format nyan. Mas maganda po yan pag nasa Mozilla!! Nyahahaha!! Yun lang... Peace!!

puccachu believed today at 17:09

Saturday, December 02, 2006

CASES

There are so many spreading text messages regarding logic solving, and mystery cases. I must admit even I am an avid fan of such stories. Because of that, I often watch Detective Conan and am very proud to tell all of you guys... Nyahaha!! I've solved some of the problem before Conan does... But the series Conan is another story.. Here are some of the problems I have encountered:

1.) A man and his son was driving. As he drived, he met a serious accident. The man died and his son was rushed to the Emergency room of the nearest hospital. As the attending doctor arrived, the doctor suddenly gasped and exclaimed, "This child is my son!"

Question: What is the relation of the doctor to the patient?

2.) Naglilinis ang sepultorero nang may isang babaeng bumisita sa isa sa mga puntod. ''Kaano ano nyo ang patay?'' tanong ng sepultorero. ''Ang nanay nya ay solong anak ng nanay ko.''

Question: Ano ang relasyon ng babae sa bangkay?

3.) A man was killed in his house on Sunday morning. His body was found by his wife and she immediately called the police. The inspector asked the wife and the staffs what were they doing during the estimated time of death. The cook said he was cooking. The wife said she was sleeping for she slept late yesterday. The maid said she was in the post office mailing letters and the butler said he was cleaning the cabinet upstairs. After all those alibis, the inspector arrested the suspect for further question.

Question: Who was the suspect?

Perhaps you are now laughing saying ''Ta** In*! ang dali naman nyan'' The next problems would be more difficult compared to the previous problems. Here's more:

1.) Detective Palumbo had just finished examining the body of Debbie Layne which was lying on couch in her plush living room. ''Mrs. Layne was hit on the back of her head three or four times with the butt of that pistol.'' the sleuth said. The .45 lay on the floor near the body. Sheriff Hobbs was dusting the weapon for fingerprints. ''I've phoned her husband at his office and only told him to come home, I dislike breaking bad news. Will you do it?'', the sheriff said. ''I'll do it,'' said palumbo as he watched the body being removed from the scene. Then he took a seat in a lounge chair to wait for Mr. Layne. The ambulance drove away just as Mr. Layne arrived. He came into the living room, saw the gun and asked, Where's Debbie? What happened?'' ''I'm sorry to have to tell you that she was murdered about three hours ago.'' said Palumbo. ''Your cleaning lady found the body and called the sheriff.'' ''I can't find any fingerprints on this gun,'' said the sheriff. ''I'll send it to the lab.'' Mr Layne's face flushed as he got angry and said, ''please find the fiend that clubbed Debbie to death, I'll put up a twenty-five thousand dollar reward!''
''Save your money.'' said Hobbs. ''The murderer won't be that hard to find.''

Question: By this you probably know who the killer is. But the question is how did the detective knew who the killer is?

2.) ''Thank heaven you saw me!'' excalimed Ted Long as he feebly helped make fast his battered yawl to Dr. Hall's chartered fishing boat. Hall reached over the side and assisted the bedragged yachtman aboard. Long staggered into the shade of the cabin and sagged upon a berth. He removed his cap to wipe the perspiration from his brow, revealing a bald, freckled head. ''Drink this,'' said Hall, holding out a cup of water. Long gulped it frantically, asked for a second, and when he had downed it, told of his ordeal. ''Bill Smith and I were sailing for Bimini when the storm hit us. The sails, rudder, and radio went in the first five minutes. We barely managed to keep afloat. We drifted five days , lost. Three days ago our fresh water supply gave out. Bill went crazy with the heat and thirst. He started to drink the ocean water. I tried to restrain him. I hit him and he accidentally hit his head against the starboard rail. He's dead! It's my fault!'' Hall climbed into Long's disheveled yacht. In the little cabin, he found Bill Smith laid out on his back, dead. The criminologist studied the bruise on Smith's jaw and the one at the base of his skull. Back on the fishing boat, he warned Long grimly, ''You're going to have to tell the police a better tale than the one you just told me!''

Question: Again, the killer is pretty obvious. And again, the question is how.

Wow, from this point, I must say ang galing mo naman! (kung nasolved mo lahat...). Eto pa.. Kung nakaya mo ung nasa taas, I don't really know if kaya mo rin toh. Hell mas mahirap to eh. paano ko malalaman kung kaya moh? duh..

1.) You are a convicted murderer and was given a chance. A chance to feel the freedom once again. But the catch is that you have to choose. There are two doors. One door leads to death while the other leads to freedom. You do not know which door leads to freedom. Each door stood a guard. One tells the truth while the other does not. Again, you do not know which guard tells the truth and which guard guards the freedom door.

Question: What will you ask to the guard to know which door leads to freedom?

By this point, I believe may mga hindi ka nasagot at hinahanap mo na ang mga answers. Last question na lang at malalaman mo na ang sagot...

1.) Do you know how to keep a person in suspense?

Answer: Tell ko yung mga sagot next week. HAHAHAHA!! At least may one week pa kayo para mag brainstorming because at this time, may mga kasama ka na siguro na nagbabasa na rin at nag iisip kasabay mo...

This time, nagmumura ka na. Minumura mo na ako kasi hindi ka na makahintay sa sagot. Kung talagang eager ka na malaman yung answer, try mo sa yahoo answers. Kung wala itanong mo din dun. Still, maghihintay ka rin ng magrereply sayo na may alam ng sagot.

This time, talagang minumura mo na ako dahil narealize mo na maghihintay ka rin sa yahoo answers.

Sige na. Bye

puccachu believed today at 14:31