//..Puccachu..Lotsa Crap\\

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Craps...

It was raining... And it was a very dull day. I was so f-ing bored and with only a pen and a paper I wrote. I do not know what to write, but then, I remembered, I never had written any poems lately(wait poh yung niluluto koh..). So, it has been decided. I am going to write a poem! Still, I warn you people... Hindi po akoh marunong... hehehe...

Moods of a Woman

An angel of truth,
and a dream of fiction.

She's afraid of a wasp,
will scream at a mouse,
but will tackle a stranger,
alone in the house.

Sour as vinegar,
sweet as a rose;
She'll kiss you one minute'
then turn up her nose

She'll win you in rage,
enchant you in silk;
She'll be stronger than brandy,
Milder than milk.

At times she'll be vengeful,
merry and sad;
She'll hate you like poison
and love you like mad.

Yeah nga pala... That's for my greatest mom.

puccachu believed today at 20:34

Thursday, November 09, 2006

This article contain malicious ek ek. So please kung 18 below daw... Huwag nyo nang basahin... Hahaha... As if naman. Bahala na kayo kung babasahin nyo toh.

What the F***?

Para duon sa mga masyado pang bagito sa larangan ng pagtatalik narito ang isang natataong artikulo. dre, ang type ng kababaihan ay maginoo pero medyo bastos kapag masyado kang totorpe-torpe bka masulot ka pa ng iba.

When it comes to sex, do you imagine that your girl thinks that doggy style is as bold as it gets? Well, if that's true, then you have a whole lot to learn about your girl. Most women, especially in this day and age, are very in touch with their bodies and their carnal desires.

The thing is, if you plan to spend most of your life in monogamous relationships, you are going to have to try your hand, and other parts of your body, at new things. You gotta keep it interesting. The problem is, women are the ones who usually garner the sexual control in a relationship, so it's up to you to get her to open up so that you and she can realize her sexual desires.

That said, check out some things that your girl might want to do in bed but may not bring up for fear that you will judge or think less of her. If you're confident in your relationship and her loyalty, then getting it on in the following ways should be a welcome treat.

1- Having aggressive sex
Whereas S&M might be pushing it, I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't like being ravaged by a lover. Why? It's all about psychology; if you ravage a woman, she can believe that you were in control and she was the damsel in distress.

The next time you and your girl are about to have sex: Turn her around, hold her wrists behind her back with one hand, and wrap your other hand around her hair, lightly pulling it. Penetrate her, doggy style. If she moans with delight, then she's into it. After a few minutes, turn her around, place a hand over her neck and penetrate her frantically in the missionary position until you come to fruition.

2- Dominating you
Many women are more comfortable having sex in the dark. It may be due to insecurity regarding their bodies, but it's also because in the dark, she can be someone else. She can adopt a different personality, one that's completely confident and in control.

Even if you put on a simple blindfold, her sexual methods will change. She will adopt a more dominant stance, she'll ride you better, she'll make more noise, she might even start talking dirty.

The next time you and your girl are about to have sex: Blindfold her and do things to her that you wouldn't usually do. For example, if you rarely penetrate her missionary style, then kiss her and go at it. Then, take the blindfold off her eyes and place them over your own. As well, turn off all the lights. See what happens.

3- Kissing another woman
While the fantasy would dictate that we'd love to sleep with another woman, most women I've spoken with revealed that they would go so far as to kiss and caress a woman, but not go down on her. As well, you likely would not be able to get it on with said other woman.

There's something seemingly harmless about getting it on with another woman that makes it appealing, and of course, knowing that you'd probably enjoy seeing her kiss another woman makes it all the more so.

The next time you and your girl are about to have sex: Ask her if she's ever fantasized about another woman. If so, ask her to describe the scene and what goes on between her and her vulvatic counterpart. Who knows, maybe by letting her know that it turns you on, you'll end up getting a real visual.

4- Using a vibrator
Women enjoy different sensations, as do you, I'm sure. However, neither a penis nor a mouth can measure up to the sensation of quick vibrations against the clitoris.

Rubbing a vibrator against her vagina while you penetrate her will drive her crazy, no doubt. And many women want to feel the sensation of a vibrator without the underlying fear that their man is taking offense to it. There's never a need to compare yourself to a sex toy because nothing equates to the feeling of a man.

The next time you and your girl are about to have sex: Pull out a simple vibrator -- one with no bells and whistles -- and spread her legs apart. Rub the vibrator against her clitoris and watch her squirm with delight.

the nastier, the better

It's up to you and your girl to make your sex life as great as it can be. That said, let her know that it's okay if she wants to try things that are out of the ordinary and that she can feel safe doing so.

Remember; most women want to be bold and crazy in bed, and if they know for sure that you won't judge them if they become more daring, you may just end up with a few wild ones on your hands.

puccachu believed today at 09:21

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

THE COMPLAINTS OF THE PENIS

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

I am willing to work any shift.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

THE RESPONSE:

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated work area and are often seen visiting other locations.

You do not take initiative, you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

You leave your workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

And if that were not enough, you have been constantly entering and exiting the workplace
carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

The Management

Funny How things go..(LOL)..Tata!

puccachu believed today at 18:08

pasalubong

sorry is been many days since i last write hear coz is been very busy coz mam tess is comeback from abroad last saturday and there are many things to do. mam tess is bring many shopping materials with her from the abroad. mam tess say that she is go to many places. i am very exciting for the stories of mam tess coz i also want to go to the abroad but i dont know how and i dont have money.
sir arnold is ask me to go with him to get mam tess from the airport so that she is come home to us.

sir arnold: chona, maligo ka.

chona mae: naku sir wag po.

i get surprising and i cover my body with my hands coz i get scared. coz they say in TV that if the sir of the helper ask the helper to take a bath, he is rape her.

sir arnold: ano ba nangyayari sayo? tumigil ka nga dyan. maligo ka na at magbihis ka at sasama ka sakin. aalis tayo. susunduin natin si mam tess mo sa airport. bilisan mo at baka ma-late tayo.

chona mae: ay. ganun po ba. kala ko kasi.

sir arnold: kala mo ano?

chona mae: wala po. joke lang po. ano po isusuot ko?

sir arnold: tinatanong pa ba yun? mag-gown ka. naku chona.

chona mae: ay, formal po. wala po akong make-up e. di po ako makakasama. kayo na lang po.

sir arnold: syempre uniform. ung white. nasisira araw ko syo. ang aga-aga e. sige na maligo ka na tapos magbihis ka tapos buksan mo yung gate.

chona mae: tapos?

sir arnold: aalis tayo. bakit?

chona mae: wala po. sige po. maliligo na po ako.

i am always exciting everytime mam tess and sir arnold are ask me to go with them coz i get very boring here in the house and i dont want to see aling choleng and myrna. mam tess and sir arnold are always ask me to go out with them coz aling choleng is the manager of the house and she cannot leave the house and she is always dizzy when she rides the car. suka ng suka. kadiri. myrna also cannot go coz if she is leave, aling choleng should go with her also thats why i am always the one who is go with sir and mam.

i take bath very quick coz sir arnold dont like to wait and he always in time. i wear my pants uniform. i am also very exciting for the pasalubong. i wish that mam tess is buy me chocolates.
we leave the house and we are go to the airport. many airplanes fly over and above the car. we wait and we wait and then mam tess is finally come. she has many bags small and big coz she is go to many places.

chona mae: hi mam! ako na po magdadala nyan. welcome to the philippines po. na-miss ko po kayo.

mam tess: asus. sipsip! wag kang mag-alala, may pasalubong ako sayo. kumusta naman kayo nila myrna sa bahay? malinis ba ang bahay? ayokong makakarinig ng maraming sumbong ha.

chona mae: ako po ok lang ewan ko po sina aling choleng.

we are go to duty free for more shopping. mam tess, sir arnold and me. mam tess are buy more things and then we are go home coz mam tess is already tired from the travel. in the car, i ask mam tess about abroad.

chona mae: mam san po kayo nagpunta?

mam tess: madami. bangkok, vietnam, hongkong, china, japan, singapore. nakakapagod.

chona mae: nag-japan po kayo? di ba masama po yun? bakit nyo po nagawa yun?

mam tess: sira! namasyal lang ako at nag-shopping. arnold, san ba natin nakuha to? parang nagkamali tayo dito a.

sir arnold: sinabi mo pa. wrong move honey. wrong move. ano, chona? soli ka na namin?

chona mae: wherever.

sir arnold and mam tess are always joke with me that they are return me to romblon but is ok coz i know that it is joke only.

chona mae: malaki po ba ang abroad

mam tess: chona talaga. oo. malaki.

chona mae; ano pong pasalubong nyo sakin? na-miss nyo po ba ako?

mam tess: marami akong pasalubong sayo mamaya mo na tingnan sa bahay. di ko alam kung na-miss kita kasi puro kunsumisyon dala mo sakin.

mam tess is the deny queen. i know that she is only deny. i know that she is missed me also.
we arrive home and we are bring the bags in the house. mam tess is open her bags and she is call aling choleng and myrna to give away the pasalubongs.

mam tess: o myrna etong sayo. yung kay choleng kasam na dyan, may pangalan yan.
the bag for choleng and myrna is big. they have imported lotion, important soap, imported shampoo and imported perfume. mam tess is also give aling choleng a sholder bag and some chocolates too also.

mam tess finally gives me my gift pack. many things inside the bag. she is give me one imported t-shirt that is color pink. the front of the t-shirt says: "abercrombie and bench" i think it is same with the t-shirt that the MTV and the MYX BJ wear. mam tess is also buy me kitkat and nestle crunch and kisses also. she is also give me lip glows. lip glows is look like a lipstick but mam mam tess say that lip glows is make the lips shine. is very happy.

Incase you're wondering what the hell just happened, then let me explain to you all. Someone mailed me regarding a blogsite whose posts are worst than the Alano girl and Ms. Melanie Marquez. I visited the site and It got me rolling over our floor laughing. That article just you've just read is one of her's. If you're interested to read more of her escapades, just visit her site. I've had her as my friend so you can just click her name on my list.

Sayonara!...

puccachu believed today at 17:19

Saturday, November 04, 2006

CRAP

Here I was just sitting on my couch and killing sometime when I switched the channel to Jack TV (a channel if you have a cable). Interested, I continued to watch the cartoon series entitled ''The Family Guy'' and I must admit that it was downright funny. Since then, I continued to watch the series and they were still living to their title as being one of the funniest cartoon series. It was really senseless and it being senseless made it really funny. For those people who do not know The Family Guy yet, please let me continue.

The Family Guy

Since its debut in 1999, the Emmy-nominated FAMILY GUY has attracted an impressively large and loyal follwing of devoted fans and has sold more than 3MM combined units on DVD, making it the fourth-largest TV series seller ever. FAMILY GUY's passionate fan base (or as Stewie likes to call them, his ''Minions'') combined with its success on DVD, and its record ratings on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block, prompted FOX to bring the show back (and in our case, pinalabas dito sa Jack TV).

The Family is composed of the distinctively twisted and irreverently outrageous trials and tribulations of PETER GRIFFIN and his not-quite-so-average family of middle-class New Englanders. LOIS is Peter's loving wife, who struggles to maintain a modicum of normalcy in their home life. Then there are their kids: angst-ridden, 16-year-old MEG, eho only really wants to get noticed; 13-year-old CHRIS, a swwt-natured slacker; and 1-year-old STEWIE, a diabolically clever baby who's already bent on world domination. Rounding out the Griffin household is BRIAN, the brainy family dog who likes his martinis as dry as his dog food.

Characters:

Peter Griffin - is a big, boisterous, lovable oaf who isn't afraid to say what's on his freakin' mind -- usually the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. He lives in Quahog, Rhode Island with his wife Lois, their three children -- Chris, Meg and Stewie -- and his well-spoken best friend, Brian, the family dog. Peter would do anuthing for his family, as long as it doesn't get in the way of his TV time.

After his boss at the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Company, Mr. Weed, suffered a freak choking accident at the Griffin residence, Peter found himself without a job and without an income. After trying his hand at numerous jobs, Peter bought a boat, hired a crew of 2 Portuguese men, and has now settled into his new career as a local fisherman.

What Peter lacks in common sense and good judgment, he makes up for in enthusiasm. He often goes overboard when he latches onto an idea. Whether he's leading an improvisation scene during a bank robbery or running barefoot in the rain with William Shatner, Peter Griffin is always looking for fun.

Lois Griffin -is a modern-day housewife who finds time to cook, clean, run errands, teach piano and avoid daily attempts on her life by her baby son, Stewie. Of course, a mother's lo0ve runs deep. So deep in this case, that Lois is blind to Stewie's matricidal intentions, attributing his perperual foul mood to plain old crankiness.

Born in upper-crust Newport, Rhode Island, the one-time heiress to the Pewterschmidt family estate gave up the privileged life to be with the towel boy she fell in love with. She hasn't looked back since. No matter how many times Peter falls down (in some cases due to too many Pawtucket Patriot beers), Lois is right there to pick him up again.

Lois is generally the voice of reason that Peter can't hear until it's too late. However, even Lois has been known to temporarily leave her senses. In fact, rumor has it dhe's put on bold and seductive piano performances right in the family's basement.

Lois is a complex and mysterious woman. Think of Martha Stewart (The host in ''Martha'' -a show in Lifestyle Network) meets Barbarella.

Meg Griffin -Sixteen-year-old Meg Griffin lives a difficult life. She is a total outsider at school as well as at home. The constant butt of the joke, Meg is forever reminded what a loser she really is. She is constantly struggling to gain acceptance from the ''in'' crowd, or any crowd for that matter.

A bit of drama queen, Meg pines for her hunky new neighbor, Kyle. Unfortunately, not even a clingy new dress or an eleven-hundred-dollar Prada bag seem to get her any closer to first base.

Like most girl her age, Meg is often embarrassed by her family. However, most girls don't have Peter Griffin as their father, who has turned embarrassment into an art. He once interrupted Meg's class to chide her about chaving her legs in the shower, complaining that ''it's like a carpet there!''

But Meg will curvive. And one day she'll get the popularity she so richly deserves. Yeah Right. (LOL).

Chris Griffin -Chris Griffin is an overgrown, sweet-hearted 13-year-old who looks imposing, but wouldn't hurt a fly (unless it landed on his hot dog, his favorite food). In that case, Chris would probably treat the fly as a condiment (Honestly...).

Chris doesn't have many friends. He often stays to himself, sometimes spending time alone in his bedroom. Or that is what you may think. He is in fact tormented by an evil monkey that resides in his closet. Though Chris shares his tales of the pointing and sneering primate with his parents, they are forever indiffirent to his cries.

Chris idolizes Peter and works hard not to disappoint him. It's a good thing for Chris that his father's expectations are so low. Still, Chris does have some hidden talents, especially his ability to draw. He should probably spend more time cultivating his skill and less time with Peter in front of the boob tube, looking for boobs.

A true individual, Chris lumbers to the beat of his own drum. Although physically he's matured early, he still has a way to go intellectually. But just because he's still not clear on where babies come from doesn't mean he's not eager to learn.

puccachu believed today at 18:00

CRAP- continuation

Stewie Griffin -Stewie Griffin is a 1-year-old baby with a single goal: Total World Domination. He has the voice and manner of an evil Rex Harrison, but he's recently celebrated the one-year anniversary of his escape from his mother's ''cursed ovarian Bastille,'' in which he was incarcerated fro nine gruelling months. Stewie has vowed to defeat his mother's matriarchal tyranny and topple the ''gynocracy'' she rules.

Just because Lois has narrowly escaped several attempts on her life thus far (from a box of chocolates filled with active grenades to a barrage of arrows shot straight for her head) doesn't mean she's in the clear yet. Stewie might begrudge Lois a modicum of respect for being the worthy adversary she is, but don't be fooled. One day her uppance shall come!!

In fact, if it were not for his lack of muscle tonem toilet training and his need for parentally provided sustenance, Stewie would have already gained control over most of the third would, including Canada. Until his dominion over all mankind comes to fruition, anyone or anything that interferes with his grand plan shall be destroyed . And if he can create a machine that controls the weather, what makes you think he won't be able to control you, hmmm?

Brian -Brian Griffin (Hayaan nyo na ung Griffin) is more than just the family dog. He is a gentleman and a scholar, and undeniably the most eloquent member of the Griffin household. Brian is the first person Peter will turn to in times of crisis. But the sarcastic barbs that Brian doles out can be as dry as his martinis.

Yes, Brian has been known to toss back a few. Some say it's to kill the pain that comes with the social stigma of being a dog. Others say it's to help him forget the time before he met Peter, when he was a homeless stray who cleaned windshields for handouts. But Brian will tell you it's just good for his coat.

Drinking and throwing out witty bon mots aren't the only things Brian is good at. If you ask him to speak, don't be surprised if he responds in flawless French. He's also got an amazing voice -- he can sing all four parts of a barbershop quartet simultaneously. In short, Brian might be the family dog, but don't tell him that. Did I mention that Brian also holds a third-degree green belt in taekwondo? And in seven more year to you and me.

Jack TV is a host for different type of show and some of which are really interesting. Some of them are South Park, American Dad, Drawn Together and Distraction.

puccachu believed today at 17:54

Friday, November 03, 2006

Millenium

Well, grabe talaga yung ginawang damage ni Milenyo..(Tama ba spelling?). Halos lahat ng puno sa campus natumba. Well, I know I am posting this way bayond the date but eto lang ang free time ko eh angal ka? As i was saying, haay... Grabe. Hindi kami pinalabas sa dorm and to make sure that did happen, pinadlocked pa ang gate. Zero visibility talaga ang nangyari, minsan bigla na lang may sangang magzuzoom in. Mga bandang 10, kumain na kami sa canteen at WOW!, ang baha abot tuhod na. After the disaster, yes! we were free! Goddamn! we were so hungry again! Akalain nyo bang magsara yung kaisa-isang canteen namin! Hello! 5 Units po yung papakainin nyo! So, nag ala Dora -the explorer kaming lahat sa dorm. Nilibot namin ang buong campus at nakarating pa kami hanggang junction -basta malayo toh. At long last, nakabili na kami at asar talaga!!! know why, nagbukas uli yung canteen. We wasted all that effort for nothing.! Well, di naman talaga, nag sight seeing pa kami sa campus at kitang-kita talaga yung disaster na ginawa ng bagyo. yung maliit na sapa namin sa Palma Bridge, pwedeng-pwede ka nang magrapids. All transportation ata eh cancel kaya nag decide na ako na bukas na lang umuwi. Wednesday night, may ilaw pa nung mga sandaling yun, may nag announce na wala ng pasok bukas ng Thursday. there was a huge uproar upon hearing dun sa announcement made. Thursday ng gabi, tumila na ang ulan, halos lahat sila nangangambang may pasok na kinabukasan. The hell I care naman, wala naman akong pasok tuwing Friday kaya ready na akong umuwi kinabukasan. Dahil sa pinsalang aming tinamo, well, Ala pa rin kaming pasok. And to add to that announcement, there was another announcement I do not know whether to consider this as good or bad telling us that we will have a week off but this extension would mean that pati ung sem break namin ay maeextend pa. 7:00 pa lang, handa na ako para umuwi. Pag sakay ko ng bus, halos 80% ng pasahero ay mga kakilala ko. Majority of which ay galing sa dorm ko. Grabe pa rin ang traffic sa Calamba, ang baha ay hanggang tuhod pa rin at hindi na kami umusad. 7:00 ako umalis ng UP at nakarating ako sa bahay mga bandang 5:00 na. Asar!! gutom na gutom na ako during those times. So we had a week break and late tuesday during our break, someone texted me saying that na ung USC daw at si Chansi ay nagmeeting at napagdesisyunan daw na may pasok na sa Wednesday. Hala! Paano na toh!? Nasa Manila ako!! May long test pa ako sa Wednesday at exactly 8:30!! Grabe! Ni isa sa mga hand-outs ko sa Sosc1 (Social Science) ay di ko pa nahahawakan!!. buti na lang at fraud pala yung message na un at may nagtext nanaman na huwag maniniwala sa kumakalat na certain text regarding Wednesday is the resuming date of classes. Haay!! grabe talaga. Ciao!

puccachu believed today at 15:24

Gloria, Marcos and Erap

Nakasakay si Gloria, Marcos at Erap sa isang sasakyan at tinatakasan ang mga galit na taong bayan. Tumirik ang sasakyan sa tabi ng tatlong matataas at madahong punong-kahoy. Bawat isa ay umakyat sa mga punong-kahoy. Si Gloria sa unang punong-kahoy, si Marcos sa pangalawa at si Erap sa pangatlo.

Dumating ang mga tao.

Lider: ''Yugyugin ang mga puno. Siguradong nagtatago ang mga iyon sa makapal na dahon.''

Niyugyog ng mga tao ang unang puno.

Sabi ni Gloria mula sa itaas ng unang puno: ''Tweet-tweet...tweet-tweet...''

Lider: ''Maling puno. Ibon lang nandyan; baka mataihan pa tayo. Yung susunod na puno!''

Niyugyog ng mga tao ang pangalawang puno.

Sabi ni Marcos mula sa itaas ng pangalawang puno: ''Sssssss.....sssssss.....''

Sa takot ng mga tao na mahulog sa kanila ang ahas, nagtakbuhan sila sa pangatlong puno.
Sa itaas ng panatlong puno, humihingi ng tulong si Erap kay Marcos na nasa katabing puno.

Erap: ''Marcos, Marcos, anong gagawin ko?''

Marcos: ''Basta, magpanggap kang isang hayop!''

Sa ibaba, ibinigay na ng lider ang hudyat para yugyugin ng mga tao ang pangatlong puno. At niyugyog nila ito nang malakas. Laking gulat nila nang makarinig sila mula sa itaas ng puno ng isang malakas at pamilyar na tunog.

''Mooooo.... moooooo...akooooo''

puccachu believed today at 14:53